The message came in while he was at a client dinner in DIFC. You are in the flat in the Marina with the aircon humming, your parents asleep in a different time zone, and every friend you have here met you through him. There is nobody to ring at 11pm who is only yours.
Stay, Pause or Leave is a 106-page workbook for the weeks after betrayal, written by Kita Tabachka, a BACP registered counsellor who works online with expats and international couples. It gives you a route through the first days, what you need to know, how to steady yourself, and how to weigh repair, a supported pause and leaving. Every chapter works alone if your partner will not take part.
Residence tied to a sponsor changes what leaving means. Chapter 4 separates the urgent practical questions from the lasting decision, so the visa does not decide the marriage for you.
Brunch friends, the school gate, his office. Word travels. The workbook stays on your device and page 7 tells you what to do if your phone is not private.
The people who love you most are asleep when it hurts most. The route table gives you a page for 2am, and chapter 16 is written for the person doing this without a partner or a family nearby.
Page 31 is written for you: when the relationship holds your whole life abroad. Housing, visa, income, friends and children arriving through one person. The page separates practical dependence from the relationship decision and gives you the questions for each.
The file is yours. It lives on your device, prints from your own printer, and needs no account. Page 7 covers a monitored phone and a safer device.
Rules about relationships and evidence differ in the UAE. Before you share screenshots, confront anyone or move money, read chapter 2 on what you need to know, and take legal advice from a lawyer licensed where you live.
Educational workbook, not therapy, not legal advice.
Tap the line closest to today. The workbook opens on the page for it, so nobody has to begin at chapter one.
Six small actions for the first hour, and a sentence for when your partner asks what happens now.
Get the workbookSeparate the questions with a purpose from the questions the fear keeps asking.
Get the workbookSplit the urgent decisions from the lasting one, and see what repair, a pause and leaving each ask of you.
Get the workbookTruth, accountability, safety and willingness, with an accountability plan you both sign.
Get the workbookTake responsibility without making your partner manage your shame.
Get the workbookCloseness without an escalation plan, and words for declining without a debate.
Get the workbookA practical separation plan and an honest account of what you are grieving and keeping.
Get the workbookWords a child understands, and a handover plan reviewed through the child's day.
Get the workbookMap behaviour, harm and secrecy separately, then match each concern to the right help.
Get the workbookOrganise your information, support and next decision without waiting for anyone.
Get the workbookEvery page: a short explanation, a fictional example and something to try. Tap to enlarge.
Kita works online with individuals and couples, including partners in different countries, at times which fit your evening. The first consultation is free. The workbook stands on its own and never requires a session. Dubai is three to four hours ahead of the UK, and evening slots exist for it.
The note from Kita, the route table, one teaching page and the one-page plan you will use most. Enter your email and the PDF opens straight away.
Yes. Every chapter has a solo route, and chapter 16 is written for the person doing this alone. The pages on truth, decisions, safety and your own life need nobody else in the room.
Neither. Repair, a supported pause and separation each get their own chapters, and the decision chapter helps you see what each direction asks of you. The choice stays yours.
Yes. Chapter 3 includes a page for the person who broke the agreement, and the rebuild, accountability and apology pages are written for you. Taking responsibility without making your partner manage your shame is the thread through all of them.
Four chapters cover hidden behaviour, alcohol and drugs, gambling and money, and sexual behaviour, each with the right starting point for help and the questions to ask before a promise is accepted.
No. It is an educational workbook by a BACP registered counsellor. It does not assess, diagnose or replace crisis, medical or legal help, and the support chapter tells you where to find those.
One A4 PDF of 106 pages. Print the practice pages or type into the file on a tablet or laptop. You keep it for as long as you need it.
The download link appears on the order page and arrives by email within a minute. No account is needed. All sales are final on digital products.
£29.00 one payment, instant PDF
Secure checkout. All sales are final on digital products. Educational workbook, not therapy.
Also written for: Riyadh · London · Singapore · the United States
