Description
What happens in the weeks after you find out
Advice arrives fast. Leave him. Give her a chance. Check the phone. Never check the phone. None of it tells you what to do on a Tuesday evening when you cannot eat and the two of you are in the same kitchen. This workbook was written for those evenings. Each page gives you a short explanation, a fictional example and something to try.
Three directions, and you choose
Most books on affairs assume you want to save the relationship. Others assume you should go. Stay, Pause or Leave holds all three doors open. Chapters on repair sit beside a chapter on a supported pause and chapters on leaving well. You do not have to earn the right to leave by finishing the repair pages, and you do not have to prove strength by leaving before you are ready.
It works if your partner will not take part
Every chapter has a solo route. If your partner refuses to talk, the pages on truth, decisions and your own life still work. If you both want to try, the conversation, trust and intimacy chapters give you scripts and agreements you both sign up to.
Inside the 106 pages
- 16 chapters: Steady, Truth, Meaning, Decide, Rebuild, Conversation, Trust, Intimacy, Separate, Children, Hidden Behaviour, Alcohol and Drugs, Gambling and Money, Sexual Behaviour, Recovery and Repair, Your Own Life
- A route table on page 5, so you start with the problem in front of you instead of chapter one
- 150 writing prompts across 35 practice pages, with room to write or type
- 42 short scripts, from asking for the truth to declining sex without a debate
- Separate chapters for hidden drinking, drugs, gambling, debt and sexual behaviour, each with its support route
- A children chapter for parents who need to keep the adult conflict out of the child’s day
- A safety page, an urgent help page and a support directory
- Sources at the back, so you know where the approach comes from
Who it is for
Adults after the discovery of betrayal in an intimate relationship, at any stage: the first night, six months of checking, or a repair attempt with no movement. Written for the person who was deceived and, in specific chapters, for the person who broke the agreement. The word partner covers any gender, sexuality or relationship structure.
Who it is not for
This is an educational workbook, not therapy. It does not assess your relationship, diagnose anyone or replace crisis care, medical treatment or legal advice. If you are afraid of your partner or your device is monitored, the safety page comes first, and the support chapter tells you where to find a person.
How you receive it
One PDF, 106 pages, A4. Download it from the order page and from the email you receive within a minute of paying. Print the practice pages or type into the PDF on a tablet or laptop. All sales are final on digital products.
A note from Kita
I am a BACP registered counsellor, and the people I see after betrayal rarely lack advice. They lack a way to sort a fact from a fear, a sentence to use when the mind goes blank, and a way to notice whether a promise has become a change they see with their own eyes. Those three things are the spine of this book. Read one page if one page is your capacity today. Leave a question blank. Come back to a chapter you thought you had finished.
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