You found the message. Everyone has an answer and none of them fit. This 106-page workbook gives you a route through the weeks after betrayal: what you need to know, how to steady yourself, and how to decide between repair, a supported pause and leaving. It works whether or not your partner takes part.
You read the message a fourth time and the words stay the same. Nothing on the screen changes, but the room seems different.
One friend says leave. Your sister says fight for it. A colleague sends a divorce lawyer. Your own view has gone quiet under the noise.
You still love your partner. You want to leave. You want both before breakfast, and neither feeling tells you what to do.
Tap the line closest to today. The workbook opens on the page for it, so nobody has to begin at chapter one.
Six small actions for the first hour, and a sentence for when your partner asks what happens now.
Get the workbookSeparate the questions with a purpose from the questions the fear keeps asking.
Get the workbookSplit the urgent decisions from the lasting one, and see what repair, a pause and leaving each ask of you.
Get the workbookTruth, accountability, safety and willingness, with an accountability plan you both sign.
Get the workbookTake responsibility without making your partner manage your shame.
Get the workbookCloseness without an escalation plan, and words for declining without a debate.
Get the workbookA practical separation plan and an honest account of what you are grieving and keeping.
Get the workbookWords a child understands, and a handover plan reviewed through the child's day.
Get the workbookMap behaviour, harm and secrecy separately, then match each concern to the right help.
Get the workbookOrganise your information, support and next decision without waiting for anyone.
Get the workbookYou do not earn the right to leave by finishing the repair pages. You do not prove strength by leaving before you are ready. Each direction gets its own chapters.
Both of you choose to engage and address the harm. The book gives you an apology answering the injury, agreements people keep, and a review which does not grade the whole relationship.
Chapters 5 to 8Clear practical arrangements to reduce pressure, with a review point. A pause with a purpose and a return route, not a limbo.
Chapters 4 and 6One person decides to end it. Safety, practical advice, support and next arrangements, plus room to grieve what you are leaving and keep what was true.
Chapters 9 and 16Every page: a short explanation, a fictional example and something to try. Tap to enlarge.
Plus a safety page, an urgent help page, quick tools for low-capacity days, a support directory and the sources behind the approach.
The people I see after betrayal rarely lack advice. They lack a way to sort a fact from a fear, a sentence to use when the mind goes blank, and a way to notice whether a promise has become a change they see with their own eyes. Those three things are the spine of this book.
Read one page if one page is your capacity today. Leave a question blank. Come back to a chapter you thought you had finished. The aim is a life in which you make choices with more information and less pressure.
Kita Tabachka, BACP registered counsellor (409623)
Prefer a person in the room? Kita works online with individuals and couples at kitatabachkatherapy.com. The workbook stands on its own and never requires a session.
The note from Kita, the route table, one teaching page and the one-page plan you will use most. Enter your email and the PDF opens straight away.
Yes. Every chapter has a solo route, and chapter 16 is written for the person doing this alone. The pages on truth, decisions, safety and your own life need nobody else in the room.
Neither. Repair, a supported pause and separation each get their own chapters, and the decision chapter helps you see what each direction asks of you. The choice stays yours.
Yes. Chapter 3 includes a page for the person who broke the agreement, and the rebuild, accountability and apology pages are written for you. Taking responsibility without making your partner manage your shame is the thread through all of them.
Four chapters cover hidden behaviour, alcohol and drugs, gambling and money, and sexual behaviour, each with the right starting point for help and the questions to ask before a promise is accepted.
No. It is an educational workbook by a BACP registered counsellor. It does not assess, diagnose or replace crisis, medical or legal help, and the support chapter tells you where to find those.
One A4 PDF of 106 pages. Print the practice pages or type into the file on a tablet or laptop. You keep it for as long as you need it.
The download link appears on the order page and arrives by email within a minute. No account is needed. All sales are final on digital products.
£29.00 one payment, instant PDF
Secure checkout. All sales are final on digital products. Educational workbook, not therapy.
Reading this abroad? Pages written for Dubai, Riyadh, London, Singapore, the United States.
Some weeks need more than a page. Kita Tabachka works online with individuals and couples in the UK and abroad, including partners in different countries, and the first consultation is free. The workbook stands on its own, and a session is there if you want one.
